so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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