They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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