Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
