I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i think i just lost a toe
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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