Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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