I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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