and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
