i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
