Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
