I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
