She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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