quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
