i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize