I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
