Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
