Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
