I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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