thus making me awesome and them whores
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize