Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
