I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
