so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
