i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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