Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
