It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
