if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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