dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
