Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize