He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
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I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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