from now on my penis is your penis
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
