Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
