Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
