Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
