So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize