remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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