Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
