I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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