I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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