1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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