Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
