Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
