Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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