we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
