do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
