i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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