anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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