I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
