I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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