I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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