Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
