He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
