the condom got lost in my hair
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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