I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
