Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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