in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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