Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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