You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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