Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
